How not to be a cunt

There are some of us in this world born with the terrible infliction of politeness. We feel the impulsive obligation to be respectful of others, help those in need and smile regardless of what mood we’re really in. This can come be handy when it comes to charming the parents of your new boyfriend, working in the service industry or covering up a drug deal. The constant spasm of a smile you always have means that an eventual glitch in the Matrix is inevitable and crying randomly in front of strangers becomes so normal you’ve stopped worrying about if there is something physiologically wrong with you or not. At least you can relate though to the harem of girls having a psychotic red faced meltdowns in the art school bathrooms and/or any public toilets (tell me, are the men’s bathrooms the same? Do men cry over urinals and in front of mirrors?). It does not come in handy for the following; looking cool and being taken advantage of. Firstly, it takes an incredible talent to pull off the friendly vibe without appearing like an absolute dork without personality; unsmiling, sulky silences and brooding = high end Gucci cool, happy go lucky spasm face smiling = grandmother support bra uncool. Secondly, whether you’re being done a raw deal or not you’re so polite you’ll keep up that happy face right up until the point of the carpet being taken out from under you, ‘but of course you can have it, take it, take it.’ Some naive souls tell you to stop being so polite and defend yourself, but it is not that simple. It is something so ingrained within the nice person, that even a gun to the head would have them sympathising with their aggressor. Oh well at least I’m going to die smiling (out of politeness, of course).


The fatal flower is the perverted shy girl, the one you wouldn’t suspect. Under a soft exterior lies a complex being with an unyielding wildness, anchored to the earth by her humble nature and inexplicable dry humour. She is the femme of now, the modern woman who’s thoughts transcend through cultures and time.

Over the coming months let ‘La Fleur Fatale’ be your guide to the hidden insights and stories of a watchful woman’s eye navigating through the ‘European’ way of life. Struggles and mishaps ensue as life is embraced and the thorny introvert femme clammers for life’s answers. All possible subjects are covered from death to Kim Kardashian and from sisterhood to the perfect strawberry frappe.

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