That time you found me on the bathroom floor eating a kebab

I hadn’t predicted you’d be home that night, normally when you’re gone I go alone to the movies, have one glass of red and am home by twelve. That night however I’d been drinking gin tonics, a pretty deadly combination when paired with an eight hour shift on an empty stomach. Plus my drinks tend to disappear so fast that the bartender isn’t sure if he’s refilled my glass or not. The first gin leads to a little banter and chortling, the second to howling laughter and on-the-edge insults, the third to down right dirtiness and hilarity. The fourth gin is not being able to steadily get out of your chair and the fifth is eating a kebab on your bathroom floor. Perhaps it is best not to get into gin number six but probably it wouldn’t be long before seeing that kebab again. In later debates it wasn’t at all clear where the kebab had indeed come from, possibilities ranged from the Turkish to the Syrian but on later analysis of the packaging it didn’t appear to be any of the familiar eateries. Headaches and vague memories of the night before swim into view. ’Adieu, adieu’ were my last words to my terrace weathering friends. I’d attempted to wave goodbye but instead of a wave I had managed to pull from my pocket a white handkerchief that fell dramatically to the ground. For theatrical effect I’d pretended it was intentional and left it there. Perhaps in the moment I’d imagined myself as a Shakespearian actor. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

The spaces between ‘adieu’ and the bathroom floor in my t-shirt are still missing but hopefully it wasn’t much more than buying that kebab.


The fatal flower is the perverted shy girl, the one you wouldn’t suspect. Under a soft exterior lies a complex being with an unyielding wildness, anchored to the earth by her humble nature and inexplicable dry humour. She is the femme of now, the modern woman who’s thoughts transcend through cultures and time.

Over the coming months let ‘La Fleur Fatale’ be your guide to the hidden insights and stories of a watchful woman’s eye navigating through the ‘European’ way of life. Struggles and mishaps ensue as life is embraced and the thorny introvert femme clammers for life’s answers. All possible subjects are covered from death to Kim Kardashian and from sisterhood to the perfect strawberry frappe.

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